I learnt not to be emotionally dependent on pa.
Maybe Im too possessive towards dad
But Im sick of him and his many gfs

I hate men.
Since young, im alr totally disappointed over men
Because my my dad’s influence
I cant accept anyone
Knowing v well of the fact that, extra marital affairs will bound to appear
Regardless how much love there is in the beginning.

I cant trust
I lost faith

Since young, I lost my mum
Came many maids in the way
See how my dad behaves towards them
Next my stepmum
I came to realize I cant communicate to stranger
Off she goes
And then other gals appear
I hate the nv ending stream
I hate the way dad behaves

His fatherly love is the dollar sign attached.
And that’s the end of his job
Then he will ask me to do chores aft chores
And buy me choc at times to make me happy.

I dun always agree with him all the time
Unlike my sis
So im always at a disadvantage
Im always direct to him
I show all emotions on my face
That’s what he hates.

But when it comes to the need to solve wad my sis and me really want from a father
I let him know our feeling sincerely
If only he can spend more time with us when he’s off from work at 8+ night

Because even if he has the time,
He wld rather spend time in his rm
Chatting away with other girls

Unlike me and my sis
Prime of our youth
But yet no relationship drag us away from kinsip

How ironic
It’s my dad blossoming with romance
Not us.

If only he could care for us more.
I spoke up
He knew.
But he chose not to put in effort for us

I feel pain.
The heartache is indescribable.

When I see him @ times on his sofa snoozing away
I feel pained
During that pt of time
I hope he has a company.
He’s old
And I know the company he wans is not from me.
Maybe he feels I wont be with him forever.
It wld be better to be emotionally detached from us first.

It’s cruel
If he realise
He taught me no love.

Im confused
I do not want another stranger to appear
I know well it’s selfish of me
But I have enuff of hurt
I feel tremendous pain.
It’s so internal it shot right into all atoms in my body.


Growing up in the environment like this
When the only man u look up to is ur dad
He disappoint me so greatly.

Now
To realize
This is the greatest lesson he taught me
Not to trust any man.

Teach me how to.
When for 22 yrs, this is wad he has inculcated.

I learnt to let go
See things lightly
And ignore wad sadness has drown me in.

Because ignorance has made me escape from problems
I choose to enclose myself in my small hm
And out of cruelties of the world outside.

I dunno hu I can rely
Hu that can lent a shoulder to me
Belong to me
Shower me with sincerity.
With love

Tears came dripping down
Uncontrollably.

Can you wipe away these away for me..

[T]agMe --

[L]inkies --

[G]oodtimes --

[T]hanks --